Roses

Yesterday I spent some time weeding a landscape bed in my front yard.  What I discovered was an enemy unseen and a whispered reminder from God’s Word.

Several rose bushes I had planted produced some beautiful early spring roses. But, hidden under that beauty was one rose bush that had died and next to it a crazy-strong grassy weed.  Maybe that weed had strangled that poor rose bush hidden under the umbrella of all the roses from the surrounding bushes.  So, I dug out the weed and then managed to dig out the dead thorny bush.  Shovels, leather gloves, dirt, thorns, sun, scratches, blood, tugs and sweat  ---- a struggle to fight an enemy, cut out the casualty and protect the hope of future beauty.

A sure example of how sin and neglect of my relationship with God can strangle me and threaten the beauty in my life – my loved ones, our blessings, our joy. Thorns can protect from some enemies but our enemy is crafty.  If he cannot suck the life and beauty from us one way, he will find another, underground perhaps, sending his demons to attack from all sides.  Is this the “slippery slope” that often describes the sin that is so close and can be so devastating?

This moring I was guided down a pathway through morning devotion to this verse.

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.”  2 Chronicles 7:13-16

This was God’s promise to Solomon after he built the temple of the Lord.  But now I am His temple, and He wants His name to be on me. This is His promise to me.  He has chosen me but will I do my part? What does He expect of me?  When I am sick, when I am thirsty, in need of sustenance (physical or spiritual), when I feel attacked - STOP. I need to humble myself, pray, SEEK God, and stop sinning.  If I do this, God will hear me (he stopped listening before this?), forgive my sins and heal my situation (my land? – my living situation, my financial means, job, home, physical body).  v15 – When we are humble, praying and not sinning; God will be attentive to our prayers.  God does this for us so that His name will be on us (glorified?), and He will always see, hear and love us. (v16)

This sounds to me like a conditional promise.  I must live a certain way (humbly, praying, seeking God, turning from sin) and then He will listen.  I cannot embrace other Gods (2 Chronicles 7:22).  This isn’t about salvation; He’s already saved me.  This is about whether I will choose to live a life in obedience to Him, recognized and heard by him, or choose to continue in sin and risk a life of suffering.  Will I let the weeds strangle out life’s beauty, my blessings, my joy?

Lord, help me to recognize the sin in my life.  Help me to be humble.  I want your face.  I want you to hear me when I pray.  Help me to pray.  I want your heart. Amen

A Half Marathon

This past Sunday, 18 months after his cancer diagnosis, my husband ran a half marathon, 13.1 miles.  Last fall as he was completing his treatments and surgeries, Mark made an agreement with several friends to run the Oklahoma City Memorial (half) Marathon.  Our good friends from the Marine Corps traveled from Pennsylvania to join him (a Marine never leaves his brother’s side – Semper Fi), and he ran with many colleagues from work (Christ’s Body who laid hands on my husband and prayed him through every step of his treatment and recovery).  Loved ones that had prayed him through cancer now prayed for endurance and strength through 13.1 miles.  This was a celebration of life and healing recognizing that only God's grace has brought Mark to this place of renewed health and ability.  

Mark’s training had been disciplined but not as he had hoped.  The 6am runs weren’t always doable as planned.  Unexpected fatigue, late nights coaching little league, weekend tournaments, or bedtime lingering to answer questions about feelings and thoughts of changes to come often bumped the marathon training goals. Everyday life pushed away personal plans in exchange for God’s plans - relationship priorities. 

Thus, Mark had never actually run the distance he would tackle in the half marathon on that rainy Sunday morning.  But as He always does, God took over.  Experienced runners brought race-day techniques; encouragers served pasta for last minute energy; and loved ones prayed.  God allowed an opportunity for Mark to see His strength fill in all the training gaps.  Mark humbly entered the race with confidence not in his own power but the promise that God has spoken to him all though his journey.  “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 2:9

The untested final five miles were met with a spirit of adventure and uncertainty.  What would God make of this last stretch?  Mark recounted this time to me with the tear-filled eyes of emotion that I hadn’t seen in 18 month.  But this time it wasn’t the pre-battle emotions of the unknown as he prepared to endure the medical battle.  I heard about God’s severe mercy as Mark saw a glimpse of God’s glory and felt his power through sweat, pain, blood, and rain.  As Mark saw the finish line ahead, pain gripped his calves, rain poured upon him, and he felt the freedom and power of God’s grace and sufficiency.  It was just a glimpse of God’s glory.

Thank you Lord for showing Your glory, sharing Your power and giving us undeserved mercies.  Thank you for rejoicing with us!  Amen

“Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion! 
Shout in triumph, O Israel! 
Rejoice and exult with all your heart, 
O daughter of Jerusalem! 
The LORD has taken away His judgments against you, 
He has cleared away your enemies. [Cancer!] 
The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst; 
You will fear disaster no more.  In that day it will be said to Jerusalem: 
’Do not be afraid, O Zion; 
Do not let your hands fall limp.  The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. 
He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”  Zephaniah 3:14-17

Refining the Soul

I’m an avoider, mostly when it involves risk or danger.  I avoided the big roller coasters. I stayed back to man our department when others filled in for the flight attendants that went on strike. I maxed out my retirement savings to be sure I wouldn’t have financial pain in my senior years. I built my emergency fund to avoid unexpected risk.  I installed an alarm system in our home.  I think I would have dressed my toddlers in rubber clothing when they were learning how to walk just to avoid all the bruises and knots on their foreheads if they wouldn’t have looked like the Michelin Man.  I avoid the immediate pain of regular exercise even when my head says that would be best in the long-term.  The Book of Proverbs is an instruction manual on avoiding danger and learning before we live; watching the world and people around us to live wisely and often times avoid risk.  Avoiding risk is wise but only if it is truly Biblical risk aversion.  Sometimes my risk aversion borders on faithlessness, lack of courage, laziness or lack of commitment. 

As I look backwards over the last several months, I see God refining my soul - working in my life to deepen my faith, commitment and steadfast pursuit of Him in all that I do.  Times when I felt completely vulnerable, unable to protect my husband, unable to control our circumstances, God is building my character and preparing me for times when the immediate pain may be unavoidable yet His ultimate plan will always result in blessing. How will I respond?  Will I choose God’s plan and point others to Him or will I allow the enemy to infiltrate the circumstances?  God promises He will demonstrate His power through our weakness. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9 Will I let Him use me?

I heard a sermon by Tony Evans yesterday where he reminded me of Jacob.  Before God changed his name to Israel, Jacob wrestled with God. Jacob was vulnerable, facing danger and struggling.  Jacob was being refined.  This was God’s way of building Jacob’s character to the point where Jacob was finally ready to receive God’s blessing.  ”Then the man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.’” Genesis 32:28

This morning another reminder came in an online devotion.  The disciples especially Peter, wanted Jesus’s last minute rescue to come by force, Peter was prepared to fight evil in the traditional way and hacked off the guard’s ear.  When the disciples realized they could no longer expect a last minute traditional rescue from the invisible world, they fled – they were avoiders too, just like me.  How would I respond if my life were threatened because I was a follower of Christ?  Would I flee or would I stand firm for Christ?  God has made our ultimate fate clear:  “Blessed and holy are those who share in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years.” Revelation 20:6

Lord, thank you for Your promised power and blessing in my life not just in eternity but in everyday and every struggle I face.  You are refining my character too just like you wrestled with Jacob.  I will choose to follow You courageously. I will hold fast to Your commandments and seek to obey them in all that I do. I will listen for the Holy Spirit’s voice in my life and respond to His prodding. I will call upon you for power in my weakness. Amen.

A Special Day

Happy Birthday to my dear husband Mark!!!

Thank you God for another year to share my life with him, for the 27 years that I have known and loved him, and the 18 ½ years sharing that mysterious bond as husband and wife.  Thank you that he is the spiritual leader of our family and always points us to You.  Thank you for the God-given passion he has for young hearts and his keen ability to look into the hearts of so many, encourage them to be all that you have created them to be and nudge them closer to You. Thank you for the light that shines through him as he reflects Your love to our children and others. Instead of seeking his own pleasures, Mark humbly looks out for the interests of others as he serves and seeks after You.  I am blessed and honored beyond measure to be Mrs. Mark McBride. Thank you Lord for this chance to celebrate Mark today! Amen.  

Pickle Memories

Over the last few months, I have received several gentle reminders of undoubtedly the best pickle I have ever savored-- My Grandmother Edythe's Bright Green Pickled Watermelon Rinds.  

The first reminder came as my kids and I sampled some spicy dill pickles at a local restaurant and shared a learning moment about the types of pickles and various ingredients that compose such.  It was a thorough lesson on the delicacies and intricacies of the pickle art and family, which of course included the lively details of the watermelon rind pickle and our family history that parallels that great pickle.  I am certain that I must have enjoyed the lesson far more than any of them, since they all firmly concluded that they really do not care for pickles at all.  My sadness with their conclusion, however, was quickly replace with the joy of knowing that at least for the next several years, that would mean MORE PICKLES FOR ME!  Hurray!

The next gentle reminder came in the form of a sensory flashback.  A homemade salad dressing brought by my dear friend with the love of a warm meal upon my husband's return from a brief hospital stay.  A wonderful salad and dressing in it's own right signaled a tasteful tease of that wonderful pickle of my childhood - a shared ingredient undoubtedly.  The watermelon rind pickle was the relish I clamored for as I approached the twirly tray that sat on my mother and father's dining room table at every Thanksgiving Dinner of my youth.  It spun and neatly encapsulated all the wonderful colorful relishes that we were allowed to sample before the prayer.  Nothing on the tray, not even the plump black olives that decorated our fingertips, surpassed the wonder of the brightest green pickles one would ever find.  (Where is that tray by the way?).   

A final flashback came as more of an insult to the pickle family altogether.  My husband and I were blessed by a dear friend and able to enjoy a holiday getaway in a charming Texas Hill Country town.  I was strolling the aisles of a wonderful, touristy gourmet food shop enjoying the spicy Texas salsas and every kind of berry mixed with a kick of some kind of pepper (a bountiful taste bud adventure) when I serendipitously approached the pickle shelves.  As expected the hot pickle varieties abounded with the expected Texas flair. As I perused the labels across the shelf, I was suddenly filled with surprise and delight as I read "Watermelon Rind Pickle."  I was mesmerized by the words on the label having never seen those words in an actual store before.  Someone here must know my Grandmother!!!  My pure excitement and delight must have blinded me to the rest of the bottle as my eyes darted to find the sample bowl, and I quickly shoved my cracker under the much loved pickle of old.  No sooner had I savored the bland wilting pickle when I noticed the drab, dull green color of the pickles that filled the jars marked "Watermelon Rind Pickles."  Maybe they were my grandmother's pickle that someone had stored since the early '70's?  Even that wouldn't explain the insult that watermelon rind pickles had just received!  

So today I will contact my grandmother, my father, my aunt, and my sister who seem to always have a way of finding, refining, remembering and even uncovering the secret ingredients of my grandmother's old recipes.  My Italian Grandma is 92 and doesn't do much cooking anymore, but the love that she always shared with us through her foods has left a legacy of culinary experts and a treasury of fond family memories.  Thank you God for my Grandmother.

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”  James 1:17

An Anniversary

One year ago my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer.  By God's grace and severe mercy, today we celebrate GOD's FAITHFULNESS through a year of healing.  Mark has completed a final surgery in his treatment plan, is back to work and is quickly approaching full recovery.  Thank you for your undying prayers and overflowing love.  

To God be all the Glory!