Holy Ground

I’ve never been a very socially needy person.  My list of Facebook friends is not very large.  I’m not prone to regularly attend gatherings with large groups of people.  I’d likely choose a quiet evening at home (even alone) over a night out at a party.  I’d prefer to serve food and clean up at a party than to visit and be entertained by guests.  Don’t get me wrong - I’m really not a “loner.”  I have some very valuable deep relationships that fuel my soul immeasurably; strong healthy relationships with my husband, my family, my friends, and many who read my blog!  I have to admit, however, that my expectations of my earthly relationships are changing. 

I’ve always felt that I had a very strong relationship with God.  But, I have a confession to make. I’ve been at times unable to say that I truly seek God first.  I felt that I did in my mind but not necessarily in my heart.  Whenever I had news to share (good or bad) or needed someone to talk to, I always thought of my human relationships first.  My husband is always the first one I seek.  I’d have a need for motherhood counsel, and I’d call my mom.  I’d need financial advice: I’d call my dad. I’d have a funny story I wanted to tell; I’d call my sister or my girlfriend.  

God is changing my heart.  Over the last several years, I've had to pause as I reached for the phone and reconsider……my mom is no longer with us, someone else is struggling with his or her own needs or schedule, and timing for my issue is not good.  My self-centered questions might not be sensitive to the issues that these special people have in their lives or hearts.  As I long to share an intimate conversation with the ones I love, I am now more sensitive to their fragility, their own needs, their human conditions.  They are “jars of clay” too, and I realize that my needs (emotional or physical) can never be fulfilled here on earth. 

The more I search the Bible, pray, see God working in our lives; the more I truly want to seek Him first.  This morning I’m home with my husband recoverying from surgery and a child with a sore throat.  I’m longing to talk.  There are loved ones here; we share our morning.  I think about my extended family I want to talk to too. I’m not sure about what.  I guess that I’m just desiring intimacy…companionship.  I have that here on earth, because I’m surrounded by many who love me and would drop everything just to chat.  But today I need more of God.  So, I read the Bible and blog.  “God said (to Moses),  ‘Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.’”  Exodus 3:5  He offers me that same holy ground.  I don’t have to worry about whether my needs will interfere with God’s issues --- He is immutable!