Jars of Clay

I love the way God is feeding my soul these days.  I feel like a little bird in search of bread crumbs guided by a power far beyond my greatest imagination.  I’m yearning for more spiritual insight, and He is leading me there. 

A couple of days ago I was led by a favorite devotional book, to 
II Corinthians 4:7-12:

 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

These verses screamed so loudly to me, making clearer so many things that are happening in our lives, in my soul. 

I reached a moment last week when I began to feel “despair” and that word jumped off the page as I read the verse.   Fortunately my sister was here to recognize that evil spirit. She called it “despair,” and she prayed it away.  She identified it and called on the Holy Spirit to bind that evil thing!  Flash! It was turned to something else, but I couldn’t quite describe the emotion at the time.  Then I read these verses, and it became clear – I was perplexed.  What Satan wanted as despair, that flaming arrow of Satan, was shielded by faith and prayer.  Thank you my dear sister for allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to work in my life through you.

The other night, Mark had a bad headache, and I couldn’t help but think of this verse as it described his physical state…”pressed hard on every side, struck down but not abandoned.”  I had to read it to him.  As I read I couldn’t help but see how Mark’s body is so clearly being “given over to death” and it highlighted the mortality that all of us share.  But that’s not as depressing or sad as it might sound because in this verse it also says we carry around the death of Jesus so that Jesus may also be revealed in us. And, that our “jars of clay” bodies carry a treasure to show the power of God!   I have to confess that I wanted to run with this and conclude that Mark will undoubtedly be healed to show God’s power….that this verse was in some way a direct promise of that.  But, I knew that that might just be a selfish pursuit.  So, I yearned to understand more of what this verse was saying.  Jars of clay….I had to understand those words of God more.

That night, as we were getting ready for our family bedtime prayers, a song on the radio was playing that my son had been singing all day long and had stuck in everyone’s heads.  I had to know who sang it…..”Jars of Clay.”  Hmm, another crumb from God leading me back to His word.  I had to pursue that verse more!  Then I remembered that our pastor had led us through a Sunday morning series on II Corinthians a few years ago. I would search for the sermon on our church’s website.  I love those audio archives!  Here’s the link if you want to hear it too!  (http://media.edmondfaithbible.com/faith/media/mp3/20070826_1563-10.mp3)

What a powerful message packed in these verses!  My life is to be a “jar of clay” through which God can display His power.  As we sacrificially serve, as Christ did, we will bless others as they receive life (eternal life).  In our weakened, common states, we should put aside our own selfish desires and sacrificially give so that others can receive the eternal treasure we have in Christ. My husband is doing this in an even weaker state as a vessel of our Lord.   The Almighty Physician will show His power!

The Holy Spirit is Active!

These days I have an unquenchable desire for more of God.  I want to hear Him more and serve Him more.  I want Him to speak to me personally, and He is.  As I seek Him more, He whispers words and messages to me more vividly than ever.  Why does that surprise me?  It’s what He promises – “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” James 4:8

One of the most powerful ways that He is speaking to me is through my pastor’s sermons on Sunday mornings.  These have always been wellsprings of truth for me as the Word of God is taught so thoroughly and passionately.  These days the messages are louder on Sunday mornings, but there is more there too.  As I come to worship and study the Bible, God is personally bombarding me with messages from Him.  The core intended messages of the sermons are vivid and resounding in their own rite, but there are hidden messages that come at me like fireworks, one after the other.  The Holy Spirit is active!

I’m reminded of the immutability of God – I can trust Him and His plan fully, no matter how my circumstances might change; He will not.  I hear the echo of a word spoken by a nurse as she shared her experience of God’s faithfulness in her life – righteousness.  I must choose righteousness always!  After hearing her story, I was faced with a simple yet clear choice in making the right decision.  Should I run a yellow light?  When I chose righteousness, the car I was driving (Mark’s) was hit from behind, rear-ended at a stoplight just outside the hospital where my husband recovered.  The amazing thing that occurred at that moment was in my heart – an indescribable joy and peace that surpassed understanding.  (Not my normal/natural reaction in such circumstances.) Again His promises are ringing true – “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

This barrage of truth and encouragement from the Holy Spirit is too constant to fully communicate and happens everywhere. It is at it’s best, however, when I’m communing with God and His people in His house of worship.  But that’s also what He promises to us, isn’t it?  “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25

Thank you God for my Bible-focused pastor, the body of believers that surround us, your amazing promises, and how they are coming true in my life!

We will be changed.

Recovery from surgery is still progressing well, and we are blessed with reminders of God's faithfulness and power in the lives of those around us.

As I write, God is clarifying in my mind what He is doing in my heart. He's grabbing me tighter and molding my heart. I want fewer THINGS and want to serve Him more. I pray that I will be more aware of others' needs and more bold to share God through my words and deeds. God is also reminding me to not only listen to the prodding of the Holy Spirit but also diligently act as I care for others, my family and more actively pursue Him.

Meanwhile my husband recovers with an episode of Bonanza. I love that man!

Little Whispers

My husband is recovering from a successful surgery today. Praise God for His supervision and grace! He has weaved together an amazing plan. Nothing is by chance. The dear operating nurse's name was "Ginny" (This was my mom's nickname). A sweet-spirited nurse named "Sarah Evans" is now caring for my husband. This is my dear friend's name. These are Godly whispers of comfort to me personally. The Holy Spirit is guarding our hearts and giving us peace. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Praying and Believing

This week a pastor in our community died from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident.  He lost control through sand on an exit ramp, wearing his helmet.  He had no “early diagnosis”; his battle began and ended on that sandy path.  He trusted Christ as his savior and is experiencing Glory!  He’ll be missed by many but only for a short time for those who trust our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

My husband Mark rides a motorcycle too.  He’s always smart in the way he rides, and I have left all the risks to God. Although he doesn’t ride often, this is something that is rejuvenating and joyful for him, and we all benefit.  A time to enjoy God’s creation and reflect on His power and glory. God takes care of him, and I have a confident peace in this hobby.  But our life on earth is never certain.  Mark’s eternal life is certain.

So, I can’t worry about cancer, especially when God is so clearly guiding us through this battle. Although the plan seems at times ominous, not what we would choose, we are blessed to have a tremendously good prognosis.  This is curable…..if God allows it.

This morning I was led to Mark 11:24, “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”  Wow, I’m praying for complete healing for Mark, and that he is totally restored.  But, do I “believe that I have received it” already?  Sounds a bit conditional to me.  Why shouldn’t I?  God already revealed himself to us through the story of Hezekiah.  I think he promised us at least 15 years!  And, the medical prognosis is GREAT!  I understand statistics; these are great odds, but I have something more powerful than science or math!  I have whispers from God Almighty, the Great Physician.  I do believe that God will heal and totally restore Mark!  Do you???   Pray for this please, but only if you believe!

"Come, see a man..."

"Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, 'He told me everything I ever did.' So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers." John 4:39-41


It’s been a while since I blogged, and I am feeling a bit guilty about that.  You see, I am trying to make sure that this trial is really changing me.  I know that as I draw closer to Christ and grow in my walk with Him, I should be changed.  I am using this blog as a way to make myself more accountable to my commitment to seek Him more actively and be bold in sharing my testimony.  It really is very selfish, but I also pray that God will use it as He sees fit to touch the hearts of others for Him.  Regarding this, God has encouraged me a lot lately. 

I just finished a book that was given to me by a dear friend shortly after Mark’s diagnosis, Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman written after the loss of her daughter in a very tragic accident.   It chronicles her grief and faith over the months and years that followed the accident.  I know from personal experience that grief can last a very long time and can cut deeper into the soul than what I had ever imagined.  C.S. Lewis’s book A Grief Observed is an amazing account of his grief after the death of his wife.  I could go on and on about grief but that’s not what I’m ready for today.  I digress.

As I read Mary Beth’s book, I couldn’t help but underline a few things she said.  (Sorry dear friend for the marks in your book).  “We had a heightened awareness of what really mattered, a clearer vision of eternal things that we normally could not see.  We were desperate for God.  The Bible was like oxygen for us as we searched for comfort within its pages.”  Wow, Mark and I felt that too! And, because God so providentially encouraged us through His word right after Mark’s diagnosis, I hear God telling me to search the Bible more diligently because He will use it to encourage me…..and He is!  As I read devotionals that lead me to His word or “verses of the day” that lead me back to whole passages, He is speaking to me and comforting and encouraging me.  Thank you, God, for speaking so powerfully to me through your word!

Today I was led to the story in John 4 of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman at the well.  This encouraged me in so many ways.   First, it encouraged me to speak boldly to whomever God puts in my pathway no matter who they are.  Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman.  Jews didn’t associate with Samaritans in that culture.  Jesus didn’t let cultural fences keep him from sharing His plan, and I shouldn’t either.  This passage also highlights the incredible power that we have been given through the Holy Spirit that allows us to worship God “in the Spirit and in truth” wherever we are - something that believers in the Old Testament didn’t always have.  It also encouraged me to keep sharing my testimony boldly.  The testimony of the Samaritan woman made others seek Christ; I want my testimony to send others to the feet of Jesus too! In her book Mary Beth Chapman says, “’So as much as we can, we will use our suffering as a place where people see our hope and our faith.”  (this time I underlined in pencil)  I want that too!  Lord, help me to always speak boldly of your power in our lives and through this cancer trial.  Help me to share our story in a way that draws people to You and isn't preachy or whiney.  I want others to see You not us! Amen.

Homesick?

I’ve been pondering a conversation I had with my son last week.  I love that kid. He’s a deep sensitive thinker (like his daddy), and I love to see the Holy Spirit working in his heart.  “Mom,” he said, “ missing someone is different than being lonely.”  “Yes, it is." I said, "Being lonely is not being connected to anyone.  That can happen if you are by yourself, but you can even be lonely in a crowded room surrounded by people if you have no connection with them.”  “Like being the new kid at school.  I remember feeling like that.”  “But you know we never have to feel alone because God has given us the Holy Spirit who is always with us.”  “Yah, yah, Mom, I know.” (I just met the 3 sentence rule!)  “We miss Dad when he’s at work but that’s only temporary.  And we miss people we love that have died like Great Grandpa and Great Grandma, Papa Bill and Gi Gi.  But that’s temporary too, because since they trusted Jesus, we’ll see them in heaven.”   God is clearly working on this young man’s heart.  Thank you, God, that my son has you in his heart.

After that conversation I remembered the song “Homesick” by Mercy Me.  It came out right before my mom died, and I remember listening to it then and feeling sad but comforted by it during that grieving time.  I still miss my mom, but now I can see things with joy that remind me of her and smile because I know that I’m just missing her and it’s only temporary.  We’re still connected by God’s promises and grace.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to keep that eternal perspective and truly long for heaven.  I know that if my finite mind could truly understand what God has offered us and is preparing for us, I would miss heaven immeasurably.  After Paul saw heaven he said, “(I) was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell.” (II Cor. 12:4)  Paul continually reminds us of the inconceivable eternal glory that awaits us:

   

“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, 
and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who love him. (I Cor. 2:9)

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (II Cor. 4:17)

Just a chance to see those we miss is enough to make us long for heaven, but He also promises us glory.  I’m like a little kid, complaining about not being able to play in my sandbox outside when Disneyland is awaiting me.  God promises us a home in heaven.  This world is not our home. “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Phil. 3:20-21)

God has also promised us a relationship with Him, and we don’t even have to wait for that.  While we might be missing people, we are not alone.  He wants us to seek him, and He will respond to us. "....the Lord is with you when you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you." 2 Chronicles 15:2

I want to long for heaven more and feel God’s presence more.  We are never alone!  As much as I don’t want to have to miss my husband, I want to miss God more!  David’s longings to see and feel God’s presence and glory are so apparent in the Psalms.  My longing for more of God is increasing, and as I actively pursue Him, He reveals Himself more and more.  I think I’ll read the Psalms later.

I was musing about this today on my way home from taking my kids to school, and the song that came on the radio was Mercy Me’s “Homesick.”  OK,OK, God, thanks for whispering to me this morning.  I’ll go home and blog…maybe someone else will long more for You and heaven too!