Communicating the News

With lab tests confirming the diagnosis, we began to evaluate the best way to communicate this news particularly to our children.  Part of me felt as though I’d wake up any minute and realize I had been in a dream.  If we began to tell others, then it really had to be true.  But we must begin this process. 

God had already been preparing the hearts and minds of our children to receive this news.  He had been strengthening their faith and surrounding them by others who point them to God every day.  The day before we were to share the news, the Magic School Bus (a cartoon on television) took a ride through the digestive system while our children watched and learned about the large intestine.  Our first grader had recently studies the digestive system in school.  The week before this, our first grader’s reading homework was a book about all kinds of clocks.  Their hearts were being shepherded by God and as much as we did not want to have to tell them this news, they were ready.

The morning before we told them, waiting for Mark to finish another test, this is what I wrote in my journal:

“I am at peace.  God is in control. We will speak with the children after school tonight.  God has given us wonderful friends that point to God and His glory.  They are caring for our children too.  I will take Mark home to rest and pick up the children at school (just like normal).  The plan for communicating is tenuous; God will give the words.  We want to point to God in strength and with peace so our children see an example of real trust and faith, reliance on God and readiness to serve Him, glorify Him and point others to Him.  He will show His glory.”

Mark and I discussed the best ways to communicate to the children - all together, each one separate?  Mark would decide.  This was his news, and God would help shape the plan.  That evening Mark spoke to each one of the children individually.  They seemed to understand, at least in their own basic way, no tears, a sense that this was just a plan we had to accomplish.  Each one processing in his or her own way. 

The next day, I picked them up from school early for flu shots and afterwards we went to Subway for a snack.  Sitting in the restaurant, I walked them through the story of how God had led Daddy to the verses in Isaiah, and we read them together.  I told them about the promise God gave Hezekiah and then asked our first grader if he knew what a sundial was.  “It’s a clock!” he said instantly.  (God had given him a lesson on this in his reading homework.)  Then my daughter’s eyes got big and her mouth fell open.  “Our clock is 10 minutes behind!”  Our sons’ eyes widened, and we sat in silence.  “Well, to be honest,” I said, “the clock is only about 8 or 9 minutes slow.”  “That doesn’t matter; close enough!” they yelled.  And, they were right. They all saw the hand of God in our lives and in our home.  As we walked out of the restaurant, my daughter said, “Mom, I hope that man sitting at the table next to us heard what we were talking about.”  I know God is going to use this!

I called each of Mark’s siblings that week to share the news.  I called my family.  They all know God and know He has a perfect plan; they are on our battle team.  I asked Mark’s siblings to check on Mark’s mom because I would tell her soon. They had already planned to see her on the day I would tell her. (God already paved the way.)  I would call her in the morning, well rested and less vulnerable to the attack of our enemy.  That morning this is what I wrote:

“Thanks Dave Ramsey, but I think I might use up my emergency fund. Praise the Lord that He will provide!”

“Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.” Psalm 119:67 God is telling me I really need to do ALL that He says.

“Do not worry about anything but instead by prayer and supplication let your request be known by God.  And the peace that passes understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.”  – my version from memory, can’t remember the reference but I’ll find it!  This is another conviction about hiding God’s word in my heart…He’s reminding me of His promises but I am really bad about remembering! (Philippian 4:6-7; and I forgot ‘with Thanksgiving!’)

I am not worrying, but I’m sad because this morning I have to tell my sweet mother-in-law that her son has cancer.  Tears…OK these are not helpful.  GOD?