A Lesson Learned

Why do I continue to hear God’s word and fail to put it into action?  I learned my lesson last week.  

The week before Christmas with all my “important” to-do’s hovering over me, I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes and rushed out the door to deliver my children to school.  I had only hours left before my children would be home for the holiday thus leaving me with little alone time to prepare all the Christmas surprises and ready our home for the holidays.  Mark was managing his treatments well but obviously more tired and would be ready for the time of rest that would so providentially come at the end of this chemo/radiation cycle.  Mounting anticipation and my worldly expectations were creating a crevice for the attack of the enemy.

I was shopping for those last minute Christmas gifts (worldly treasures?).  The more I thought about family and what gifts would be perfect for each one, the more I felt waves of sadness and depression.  It wasn’t about any one fear or doubt, just unexplained emotion – grief mounting and then subsiding.  I’d find the item on my shopping list, recover a bit from the last wave and then another wave of sadness.  This continued throughout the afternoon and into the evening.  Then a mildly tense moment would bring on another attack of emotion.  This was beyond normal….this was spiritual, the “Devil’s schemes” (Eph. 6:11).

Ok, I was just warned of this potential attack in various ways.  Why do I keep  forgetting to tighten the belt of truth, fit my feet with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, take up the shield of faith, take the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God?  I did not seek God and His comfort that morning!

I’ve been reading a book about a cancer survivor’s experience and read about how his wife was attacked by spirits of doubt while in a hospital waiting room alone during one of her husband’s surgeries.  She specifically said that she “had not put on the shield of faith”.  After I read about her experience, I sent an early request to a friend to please join me to help hold my “shield of faith” during Mark’s upcoming surgery.  She’ll be there!  I’d already asked my sister to come and help with the kids (maybe it’s easier to plan for the physical needs).  Thanks God for the reminder! 

That had been another reminder to put on the Armor of God.  And our pastor’s recent sermon had reinforced our need to do this.  I had just written about this last week in my blog for goodness sake…HELLO ANGELA!  The Holy Spirit was now screaming at me!!!!

I am learning that no matter how strong, optimistic, faithful I think I can be, I cannot survive without full dependence on His mighty power.  While this battle is a physical battle against cancer, it is only a small part of a much bigger battle and our enemy the devil is looking to pounce. 

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Eph. 6:12

Lord, give me the power to seek you daily through your word and prayer.  Help me to have the discernment to see how to put on the full armor you promise will protect us.  And after I have done everything, help me to stand firm, be alert and pray.  Amen.

We have had a blessed holiday with wonderful unexpected gifts of encouragement from the Body of Christ.  Daily Christmas gifts were delivered to our door to help us savor time together as a family. Thank you to those who have chosen to share God’s love to us in this way! We have enjoyed Christmas devotionals, games, puzzles, movies, warm rest by the fire, yummy meals and goodies, Christmas songs and uncontrollable laughter that will be remembered for years to come.  We were visited by loved ones, received wonderful words of encouragement and support, and worshipped our Lord and Savior during the celebration of His birth.  The Lord is faithful even when we forget to put His words into action!